Hi all!
This one will come in handy for parents of young children as well as caregivers.
It's vital that a child learns early on what is ok to do and what is not - this being said with a view that safety of the child and those around him is paramount. Also, without knowledge of and practising behaviours that set a limit, a child would find it very difficult to cope with interacting with others outside his or her home or family.
Some children accept boundaries and limits more easily, whereas others might be frequently tempted to find out what your reaction to their actions would be. In dealing with such children, calling them "bad" or "naughty" is not the solution. Label the action rather than the child. Express your displeasure at the action and then let the child face the consequences. For instance, they must know that hitting another child is completely unacceptable. If they are clear about your expectations, they will probably know that their action of hitting another child means that they don't get to play with this or any other "friend" for a certain time period or that they miss out on an ice cream treat in the evening.
There are many ways in which you can convey to child your expectations. Some of these are:
- Be the role model. There's no point lecturing if the child doesn't see others in the house doing what he or she is expected to do.
- Be consistent. If hitting other children is off limits...it's off limits-no questions asked. If it's that way every time, your child will know that it is unacceptable.
- Praise good behaviour and encourage it. Positive reinforcement works and motivates. For instance, if your child has put back her toys after playing with them, give her a hug and say thank you. Point out that she now knows exactly where to find them when she wants to play again - also no one is likely to trip on the toys scattered on the floor. Such words will make her want to please you again with other actions.
- Play small games to keep the "setting limits" process interesting. For instance, rather than asking your child to wash her hand each time before eating, ask her if she can do it before you can finish making the salad or setting the table.
Finally, take heart that a time will come when your child will understand that the limits you set are for her protection. Children are innately curious and will investigate everything - the world around around them, their physical abilities, their emotions and also how far they can push their luck with you!
Happy parenting!
